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Reedel, 5. septembril kell 17.00 avatakse Tartu Kunstimaja monumentaalgaleriis Anda Lāce isikunäitus „K, MIS SEE OLI?”.
Näitus „K, MIS SEE OLI?“ osales 2023. aastal Läti Kaasaegse Kunsti Keskuse näitusel „Kuidas ma end viimasel ajal tundnud olen“. Kunstnikud mõtisklesid vaimse tervise teemade üle, kasutades nii omaenda, kui ka oma lähedaste varasemaid haiguste ja nende ennetamise kogemusi. Samuti uurisid nad ühiskondlikke eelarvamusi ja selle teemaga seotud stigmasid.
Näituse „Kuidas ma end viimasel ajal tundnud olen“ kuraator Laura Brokāne kirjutas:
„Kunstil oli võime luua assotsiatiivne keel, mis aitab inimestel leida julgust arutlemaks psühholoogiliselt raskete kogemuste üle ning tekitab laiemas avalikkuses mõistmist ja empaatiat. Samas on oluline, et vaimse tervisega seotud küsimustest räägitakse otseselt ja selgelt. Kalduvus neid küsimusi estetiseerida tuleneb sageli hirmust ja enda allasurumisest, aga seeläbi vähendatakse teema tõsidust. See näitus prooviski seda habrast tasakaalu säilitada. Nii nagu paljud meie hulgast püüavad leida tasakaalu igapäevase rutiini ja sisemise ärevuse vahel.“
Olen tema viimast pilku endaga kaasas kandnud juba üle kahekümne aasta. See pilk väljendas korraga nii kergendust, elevust, kurbust kui anumist. Mäletan mitte nägu, vaid kahte tunnelit, musti auke, mis olid äkki ellu ärganud.
Hetk hiljem murdsime tualeti ukse maha ja seal ta oligi, surnult.
Kokkuvõttes süüdistasin kõige enam iseennast, et ma alla andsin, eemale pöördusin ja nägin tema surmas ainsat väljapääsu, isegi enne, kui see päriselt juhtus. Läks kaks kümnendit, enne kui suutsin end selle pärast nutma sundida, enne kui sain aru, et tegelikult tahtsin, et sureksid ta haigused, millest ma toona pea midagi ei teadnud.
On kohutavalt pime sügis ja ma laman kurnatult. Taipan, et K tegi seda varem pikkade perioodide jooksul. Kui ta oli minuvanune, oli ta juba surnud.
Poole oma elust olen kandnud endaga kaasas K surmaga seotud küsimusi. Lõpuks sain emaga rääkida ja ta ütles valjusti välja asjad, mille üle olin palju mõelnud. Arstina teadis K hästi, mis juhtub inimkehaga pärast surma. Tualetis istudes suremine pole kummaline, vaid pigem kaalutletud valik. Siiski ei tea me tegelikult, kas see oli tahtlik otsus.
Ma kohtasin K-d unes. Ta tegi nalja ja me naersime laginal. Tuba oli täis sooja valgust.
K oli mu lähedane sugulane. Kuid just lapsena soovisin temaga sõbralikumaid suhteid ja temalt rohkem tähelepanu. Leidsin teismeeas kirjutatud päevikukande: „16.09.1999. K on täna nii armas. Imelik.“
Anda Lāce (s 1982) on Riias tegutsev kunstnik. Tal on Läti Kunstiakadeemia maalikunsti magistrikraad ja ta on õppinud ka Manchesteri Metropolitani ülikoolis. Lāce on alates 2003. aastast aktiivselt osalenud grupinäitustel Lätis, Eestis, Soomes, Šveitsis, Saksamaal ja mujal. Alates 2005. aastast on ta järjepidevalt korraldanud isikunäitusi. Alates 2010. aastast on Lāce loonud etendusi, enamasti tihedas koostöös kaasaegse klassikalise muusika heliloojatega. Alates 2019. aastast on Anda Lāce sotsiaalselt kaasatud Sansusī Wellbeing Residency Programi kuraator ja kunstniku assistent.
Graafiline disain: Anna Orniņa
Tehniline tugi: Ansis Bergmanis, Adam Illingworth, Siim Asmer
Näitust toetavad Eesti Kultuurkapital ja Läti Kultuurkapitali Fond.
On Friday, 5 September at 5:00 p.m., Anda Lāce will open her solo exhibition “K, WHAT WAS THAT?” in the monumental gallery of the Tartu Art House.
“K, WHAT WAS THAT?” was a part of the 2023 exhibition “How I’ve Been Feeling Lately” by the Latvian Centre for Contemporary Art. In the exhibition, contemporary artists reflected on the subject of mental health, both through their own past experiences with illness and its prevention, as well as those of their loved ones. They also investigated societal prejudice and the stigmas that surround mental illness.
The curator of the exhibition “How I’ve Been Feeling Lately”, Laura Brokāne, wrote:
“Art had the capacity to open up an associative language through which people gathered the courage to discuss psychologically difficult experiences, fostering understanding and empathy among the broader public. At the same time, in discussing questions related to mental health, it was essential to establish and maintain straightforward language. The tendency to aestheticise these questions frequently resulted from fear and repression, thus downplaying the seriousness of the subject. The exhibition was an attempt to maintain this delicate balance, similar to how many of us tried to keep the balance between the daily routine and internal anxiety.”
I have been carrying his final gaze with me for more than twenty years now. This gaze at once expressed relief, animation, sadness and pleading. What I remember is not a face but two tunnels, black holes that had suddenly come to life.
A moment later, we broke the toilet door open, and there he was, dead.
All in all, I blamed myself most for giving up, turning away and seeing his death as the only way out, even before it happened. Twenty years had to pass before I could bring myself to cry about it, to understand that what I really wanted to die were his diseases, about which I knew next to nothing at the time.
It is an abysmally dark autumn, and I am lying down, exhausted. I realise that K used to do this for prolonged periods of time. When he was the age I am now, he was already dead.
For half of my life, I have carried the questions of K’s death with me. I was finally able to talk to my mother, and she said out loud the things that I had been thinking about a lot. Being a doctor, K was well aware of what happens to the human body after death. To die sitting on the toilet is not a strange but rather a considerate choice. However, we don’t really know if it was truly a choice.
I met K in a dream. He made a joke, and we laughed heartily. The room was filled with warm light.
K was a close relative of mine. Nevertheless, especially as a child, I wanted us to be on friendlier terms and to get more of his attention. I found an entry in the diary I wrote as a teenager: “16/09/1999. K is so sweet today. Strange.”
Anda Lāce (b. 1982) is an artist based in Riga. She holds a master’s degree in painting from the Art Academy of Latvia and has also studied at Manchester Metropolitan University. Lāce has actively participated in group exhibitions in Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Switzerland, Germany and beyond since 2003. Since 2005, she has held many solo exhibitions. Since 2010, Lāce has been creating performances, most often in close collaboration with contemporary classical music composers. Since 2019, Anda Lāce has been the curator and artist assistant of the socially engaged Sansusī Well-being Residency Program.
Graphic design: Anna Orniņa
Technical support: Ansis Bergmanis, Adam Illingworth, Siim Asmer
The exhibition is supported by the Cultural Endowment of Estonia and Latvian Culture Capital Foundation.